What's a Good Name For a Cockroach?
by S-Boogie
Summary: These are some LotF one-shots that I've decided to write. They range from creepy to sad to flat out weird. Some are comical and lighthearted as well. I try to include as many characters that I can and will even dedicate entire chapters to minor characters. Enjoy! (The rating might change later on.)
1. Siege By Squirrels

I darted through the forest this way and that, not really sure where to go. I didn't even think that we'd find any of them on the island, let alone an entire swarm of them. I let out a bloodcurdling shriek as one of them bit me on the back of my ankle.

"Yowch!" I hollered.

I tried my best to outrun them but slowed to a stop once I felt something wet on the bottoms of my feet. I'd forgotten the kind-of-important fact that I was stranded on an island and unless I wanted to drown, I'd better stay on land. I wondered for a split second as to which one would be worse, drowning or death by pissed off squirrels. I made a sharp turn to my left as the wave of squirrels tried to swerve so as to not hit the water.

"Somebody help me!"

"What happened this time?" an angry voice shouted from a distance. Judging by the vibrant red hair, it was none other than Jack Merridew.

"They're gonna eat me!" Jack's eyes went wide.

"Dammit, Maurice!" He vanished behind the rocks and pretty soon him (along with several others) emerged and made a run for it.

I desperately tried to pick up the pace and continued to shout for the others to wait up for me. I spotted Roger's dark hair flopping around and once I got close enough I reached for it. I caught a few small tangles but he managed to escape before I could get a good grip. I sped up to my maximum speed and groped for someone else nearby. I found a tuft of hair and went for it, ultimately sending both of us toppling to the ground. I heard the squirrels getting closer and yanked the kid up into the forest. The herd (Is that what you call a group of batty squirrels?) bypassed us now that they had a larger target to chase. The boy that I'd pulled out of the group began whimpering. I assumed that it was a littlun. I bent down to ask who it was.

"P-Percival Wemys Madison…"

_Oh, great, _I groaned. He must've heard me because he started crying again.

"Calm down," I said a little too harshly. This, of course, had little to no effect. I tousled his hair and he simmered down a bit.

"Where's everybody else?" he choked out.

"Probably still running from the squirrels," I said. "Looks like we'll be stuck here for a while until it's over."

"What if it's never over?" Percival wailed.

"It will be," I reassured him, "I know it will."

The two of us hid there for a while (a few hours) before I heaved myself into a squat to see if the coast was clear. There were no killer squirrels in sight so I placed a hand on Percival's shoulder and urged him to follow me. He clung to me for the duration of our trek and every time he'd hear the slightest rustle he'd stiffen and I practically had to drag him for half of the hike. I gritted my teeth every time I'd feel a warm wet spot on my thigh.

"Well," I stated once we'd reached the top of the mountain, "let's see what's going on from up here."

I surveyed the island from the mountaintop with Percival clinging to me in an annoying fashion. Why did I have to grab a littlun? Then again, why did I have to grab anybody? I could've just dove into the bushes by myself and let the squirrels chase everybody else. I nearly smacked myself for not hiding alone.

I felt something tug at my shorts. Percival looked up at me with fear in his eyes. I stared at him for a minute before telling him that I hadn't spotted any noticeable signs of life below. He whimpered again. I moaned but wrapped my arm around him protectively to settle him down.

A few moments passed when an eerie shadow loomed over the platform that we stood on. I slowly craned my head upward to see a fluffy tsunami about to devour us whole. I screamed and-

"Maurice," a voice said, "wake up."

I awoke with a start and when I snapped my head up I felt the top of it collide with something. I heard an "Ouch!" and rubbed my head. I blushed sheepishly once I realized who it was.

"Sorry, Jack."

"What were you dreaming about?" he snapped. He pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the blood flow.

"Squirrels," I murmured. Unfortunately, he heard me anyway.

"Squirrels?" He snickered. "You're afraid of squirrels?"

"No."

"I don't believe you."

"You'd be worried too if you dreamt what I did."

"So you are afraid of squirrels." An evil smirk spread across Jack's face as he leaned back. His nose hadn't completely stopped bleeding so he looked a little ridiculous.

We stared at each other for a while before Jack spotted a dark mass float ashore. We raced down to see what it was and once Jack picked it up and showed me, I could feel the color drain out of my face. What he held gingerly by the tail was the very same animal that I'd just had a nightmare about.

**A/N: I know that this is a weird one to start with but I like to surprise people. I got the idea for this one while I was out walking with my parents and we were comparing the size of squirrels in a cemetery to the ones in our backyard which led to us coming up with crazy titles about squirrels. Thus, this chapter was born. I might post another one-shot either later on today or sometime tomorrow. No promises. Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	2. Worries and Friendship

Ralph sat perched on a log, staring off into the horizon. He wondered how long it had been since they'd crashed on the island. He glanced toward the littluns playing in the sand and wondered if they even cared about going home. He sighed, then continued staring at the sky. He closed his eyes for a while until he heard something plop down next to him.

"How are things down here?" Jack asked, panting.

"Not too well," Ralph replied. "How did your hunt go? Did you manage to catch anything?"

"No," Jack sighed, "I let the others go early again."

"I can see that," Ralph said. "They've been here for a few hours at least."

"Sorry."

"Look," Ralph said, his piercing gaze meeting Jack's eyes, "don't overdo it, okay? I know that you're desperate to catch a pig, but don't spend hours in the woods while the other hunters come down to the beach to play and goof off. If you intend to send them down, you might as well come too. They might help out with the shelters if there are two of us in control instead of swimming and teasing the littluns."

Jack thought for a minute. "You're right," he concluded. "Next time I'll come down with them and we'll work on the shelters together."

"Are you sure?" Ralph looked skeptical.

"Of course!" Jack beamed. "I'll make sure to come with them next time, then we can work on the shelters together."

Ralph and Simon worked well into the afternoon the next day on the shelters. Simon started to get overheated so Ralph suggested that they take a break.

While they lay in the shade of a nearby tree, several of the hunters came pouring out of the forest. They discarded their spears and clothing (save for their underwear) and leapt into the water. Ralph craned his head and searched for Jack, hoping that he was among the mass of bodies splashing around in the water.

"He's not with them," Simon whispered.

Ralph sighed. "He told me that he'd come back with them this time and help us with the shelters."

"You could call an assembly," Simon suggested.

"What good would that do? They'd just run off again after five minutes. I need him here to help me maintain order. I can't do everything by myself."

After about ten minutes of rest, Ralph helped Simon up and they continued working on the shelters. They were halfway through their fourth shelter when Ralph spotted a mop of red hair emerge from the forest. He abandoned Simon and the shelter and darted toward Jack.

"Where have you been?" he questioned.

"Hunting," Jack replied.

"You promised to be back with the others this time." Ralph glared at the taller boy.

"Sorry," Jack said, "I forgot." He saw the look on Ralph's face and quickly tried to redeem himself. "I'll come back with them tomorrow. I promise."

"Really?" The blonde boy stared at Jack with doubt in his eyes.

"Really," Jack said, "I mean it."

Without another word, Ralph swiveled around and trotted back to Simon. They worked for a little while longer before Ralph decided to call it good for the day. He told Simon to go relax and eat somewhere.

"Um," Simon began, "is it alright if I eat with you?" His voice faded throughout the sentence, causing Ralph to ask him to repeat himself.

"Can I eat with you?" Simon ducked his head down in embarrassment.

Ralph stared at him in confusion for a bit before speaking. "Sure, I don't see why not. Come on, let's go get some fruit."

The two traveled a little way through the forest before settling on a tree with large, ripe, pink fruit. They climbed the tree and helped themselves to some fruit before dropping it to the ground, as it had a tough rind along the outside. They giggled when they watched it crack open on the hard earth. Ralph helped Simon down and they feasted on the tart fruit.

"I thought it would be sweet." Ralph cringed.

"That makes two of us," Simon seconded.

Simon didn't want to let the food go to waste, so they finished it anyway (Ralph grudgingly obliged). They decided to wander through the forest for a bit before heading back to their crazy camp. They held a tree-climbing contest (Ralph won) and an insect hunt (Simon found the most). The two boys laughed and shared stories until the sun began to set.

"You know," Ralph said, "everyone calls you batty, but you're not."

"You don't think so?" The small boy looked up at his new friend.

Ralph shook his head. "Nope. I think you're a good person."

This caused Simon to blush out of spite. "I don't know." He lowered his head. "I don't think I'm good. I just like to get things done."

"That's what makes you good." Ralph smiled. "You help out whoever you can. While you see it as 'getting things done,' I see it as working for others out of the goodness in your heart."

Simon gaped at the blonde boy. He really didn't know how to respond to that, especially when he had no idea that Ralph could say something so philosophical. Neither of them said another word as they made their way back to camp.

"Where were you?" Jack asked as the two boys emerged from the forest.

"We just took a break from working all day," Ralph replied. Simon hid behind him.

"Well," Jack said, "the littluns are getting put to bed. Everything's under control."

"Good," Ralph replied.

He walked past the redhead with Simon on his heels. He decided that Jack had redeemed himself somewhat with demonstrating good leadership skills (for once) and making sure that everyone was taken care of. Ralph huddled in a shelter with Simon snuggled beside him. Grateful for the warmth, Ralph scooted closer to the smaller boy, finally free of worry for one night.

**A/N: I have a big story coming up soon that does include an OC but will most likely be the only one that does (unless I decide to add other chapters in that setting if people like it). Anyway, I've got a general idea for it and will begin actually writing it soon. I really enjoyed writing this one and it ended up being longer than I'd anticipated. Thanks for reading!**


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